Joe Stumpf’s Magic Words Dialogues For Realtors And Lenders

What does it mean to “lean”?

My dictionary’s definition of “lean” includes:
• To incline the weight of the body so as to be supported
• To rely for assistance or support
• To exert pressure
• To bend or slant away from the vertical

We all do it. We lean on others – family, friends, even strangers – when an extraordinary situation happens that is beyond our personal strength or capability. In that context, leaning is most likely what gets us beyond the extraordinary situation.

But “leaning” can be habit forming. It can become a crutch and prevent you from achieving your potential.

Did you know you can tell when a person is addicted to leaning? It’s apparent in their behavior and language. When you’re leaning, your words and actions communicate that you need something, and you expect others to give it to you.

For example, when you say, “I am always available to help anyone you refer to me,” you’re leaning. This choice of words subconsciously communicates a desperate need for business, a lack of clear boundaries, and it sets you up for failure.

And think about it: Is the statement true? Are you always available? Will you work with anyone – no matter what?

You can see that your choice of words is powerful and critical to your success.

This doesn’t mean you can’t communicate your interest in receiving referrals and expanding your business – you can. What’s important is recognizing that there is a difference between communicating neutrally about what you want and leaning on others.

Instead of the statement “I am always available to help anyone you refer to me,” try these Magic Words to communicates neutrally rather than leaning:

“I don’t know if I can help your friends or family members. However, when you do choose to recommend my services, I’d be delighted to meet with them, ask a few questions, listen to their answers, and if I’m not the right consultant to serve them, then I’ll let them know immediately.”

There is an obvious difference between the agent who leans and the professional who stands up straight in his communication – lean-free.

You can feel the difference.